Changes

So much changes in such a short time. Each day I wonder how it is that I've come to make the choices I've made, or how it is that another day has gone past yet tomorrow I will reap what I've sown. The Lord is very gracious to us.... Sometimes I feel like the prodigal son, or in this instance, the prodigal daughter. There are periods of time, chapters of my life so to speak, when I am faithful in walking with the Lord and what I receive is His peace and the awareness of His presence in the midst of all that is and has happened. Othertimes, I choose not to believe what God has told me and choose to live in such a way where destruction takes a hold of my life. Even during those times, I know God is there and would welcome me home. The problem comes when I look at my own dirty and ripped clothes and am ashamed to walk through that door.
This month has been one of living in the dirt, living in the pig pen, not believing God and choosing to go my own way. It's distraction has begun to break down parts of the beautiful creation of who God made me, intended me to be. The good news, God has welcomed me home and has abundant wealth to restore what was lost and even make it better!
As a representation of the change inward, there are a couple of changes outward. This was not intentional, but I realized that since we are connected in mind, in body, in soul, if one is affected all are affected, not only within the individual, but even within the realm of the body of Christ, or even those who don't know God. So it makes sense! Perhaps that is why I'm sick right now! I've been sick spiritually, and now it's coming out in not so attractive ways physically! But God is our healer! Some of those other outward changes I mentioned are a nose ring, or little gem rather, and red hair! Fun and different! My supervisor said jokingly to me, "You really are becoming a wild woman, aren't you?!" Yeah, in some ways I really have, for good and bad, let down my guard and lived in the freedom we have in our choices, but I want God to steer my life back in the right direction. I want Him to be in full control, with me in submission to Him. It is so much, much better that way!