Mercy.

Long for life, for home
Though death calls us to the grave,
The life of the Savior is at work in us to raise us up to life again.

...For what is seen is temporary [= death?]
But what is unseen is eternal [= life] (2 Cor 4:18b)

"Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked.
"...so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life." (2 Cor. 5:2-3, 4b)

There is a battle we face every day. It is the battle to choose life over death. It is not simply the physical act that I speak of here, but rather a spiritual battle. Through the grace of God, we have been given the ability to choose life. It isn't something that we can find on our own, but is a gift of God. Though we have been given life through Christ's work on the cross, an eternal security of life, each day we have the opportunity to choose how we will live. Today, will I choose the way of life, or will I choose that which is destructive? It sounds easy, and when we are thinking logically in the right, we know what we would like to believe we'd choose. When reality hits, however, we find that we have an on going struggle with the flesh. Whether we choose life, or we choose destructive ways, whether we have days filled with quiet peace and sunny skies, or cold, dark, wintry seasons, we were created with a desire that longs for home, that longs for life. As humans, we often think we are wiser than we are, or think more or less of ourselves or others and therefore make decisions, whether good or bad, that ultimately is our way of walking down our own path that is not life giving.
Ah, yes. It is very complex, isn't it? As I thought about these things this morning, the word of God came to me. He said this: "I desire mercy not sacrifice." in response, I asked God, "How does this relate with these thoughts about longing for home?"
Then God gently showed me how I was choosing death in my own life. Not just through actions here and there, but on a greater scale of not forgiving myself fully for making destructive choices. Sure I've move on from those things, and God brings healing, but to fully forgive myself (for the past or present destructive choices I make), and not allow the things in my life to have a hold on me is an entirely different thing. Somehow I account for my being in right standing with God by sacrifice of my own personal will rather than on having mercy on myself. God loves me, so why is it so hard to love oneself?
So, what is mercy? Mercy according to the dictionary is, "refraining from harming offenders" and "a disposition to forgive or be kind" or "the power to forgive."
And yet, I am, we are, often so hard on ourselves rather than living in the grace, mercy and forgiveness that we've been given.
Max Lucado said this: "The more we immerse ourselves in grace,the more likely we are to give grace." Where do we find the grace to choose life, the mercy to forgive, and the strength to press onward? In Jesus Christ our Lord. He is the way the truth and the life, and no man comes to the father except through Him.