Bethany's Adventure

Faith or Fear

Wow! It's been a long time. I had all but forgotten this blog. Do people still blog? What purpose should this long lost medium of writing become all these years later?

Here is where we are at now in 2020:

Glorieta Adventure Camps is where we live now in this time of uncertainty with the virus spreading and people hoarding toilet paper. As a result of the hardship brought on by the spread of this disease, Glorieta has chosen to let go of some staff to alleviate the financial burden, running camp on the bare necessities. Was there fear of being displaced and having to move on from here? Yes. Were we worried? Not to the point of having no more finger nails or eating so much that we couldn't fit through the door any longer, no. But yes in that uncertainty brings with it a level of anxiety even when we know that ultimately God has a good plan and that we will land on our feet as God provides for all our needs. God has chosen to have us stay on here for a while longer.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matthew 6:26-17

It has amazed me how over the years God has provide in ways we never imagined. We call it a "God thing" when even the littlest detail or perhaps desire is fulfilled in a way that is obviously from Him. His love never ceases to amaze me. Perhaps that is in part because when I look at myself all I see are the imperfections. How can it be that the God who created the heavens and the earth could love us so much that He forgives, that he grants grace, that he loves and provides even still? In this time of change, when fear threatens to blossom, in the uncertainty when we worry if we have enough of the basic supplies, we can remember the words of Paul who said,

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

How is this possible? Because all we need is in Him and is given to us as He provides. We have nothing to worry about. Nothing to be anxious about. Not really. Yet, here we are in a dichotomy between anxiety and faith. It seems almost impossible to be content whatever the circumstance. How do we reach that place? I know I personally fall back into anxiety too easily rather then remembering the faithfulness of God. May we find a way as we look to Jesus, to be content and trust in His good plan for us even when we can't see it. His love is sufficient.

x

At Kevin's wedding in July

Beautiful Plumeria

The children of the house

Striving for balance

Working with Surgery, life can be crazy even if you aren't directly on the field where the patient is being worked on. It takes a personality that not only can handle the "grossness" that comes with the job, but also one that strives toward personal excellence in their work. I have been told that in this job I am able to keep people calm, or to bring them to that place where they can think more rationally instead of freaking out about things. I think that is something that has been more learned than not, as well as a gift from God. If I allow the severity and the pressure that comes with the job get to me rather than just taking it one step at a time, then my work, my mind is not balanced and cannot perhaps make the wisest, healthiest decision as to where to go from that point.
Brad pointed out to me that in everyday life, however, I have a tendency to over analyze and to let things get to me more than I would at the job. Why is that, I wonder? Why have I yet to really learn the skill and joy in taking life as it comes to me instead of over-emotionalizing it?
I am an emotional creature, both by creation and nature. It's not a bad thing, though it can be out of proportion depending on how I respond to things. Perhaps at work I am able to put those feelings aside more than I am in everyday life and so can function in a manner that is better across the table. This is a goal to be learned in the rest of the compartments of life.
Oh Lord my God, help me to learn balance between emotion and logic in every day that comes to pass. Lord, as it is said in your word, "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." - Psalm 90:12